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Mike Tyson gets a ‘get out of jail free’ card

Here we go again, another rich and famous person getting special treatment by the justice system. Mike Tyson, the eater of Evander Holyfield’s ear, convicted of rape in Indiana in 1992 and misdemeanor assault charges in 1999 and all around stand-up guy gets a pass on drug possession and DUI charges in Arizona. Pulled over by police after spending an evening at Scottsdales’ Pussycat Lounge, officers found bags of cocaine in Tyson’s pocket and in his car. According to the police report Tyson told officers that he used cocaine “whenever I can get my hands on it.” He also told officers that he had used marijuana that day and was taking the antidepressant Zoloft. Superior Court Judge Helene Abrams sentenced Tyson to 24 hours in jail and three years’ probation for the charges. It seems that after the arrest (not before the arrest) Tyson had checked himself into an inpatient treatment program for what his lawyer called “various addictions.” This apparently impressed the incredibly naive or incredibly stupid Judge Abrams. “You worked to address your addiction and self-destructive behavior,” Abrams said. Hmm, seems to me Tyson was only addressing his desire not to go to jail for a long time. This is right up there with criminals finding Jesus after they have committed a crime and are in jail, hoping ‘finding Jesus’ will help them win parole. Mike Tyson is no more interested in addressing his ‘various addictions’ than a crack addict is in attending an AA meeting. If it had been me behind the wheel and I was stopped with bags of cocaine in my pockets and in my car I doubt the good Judge Abrams would have been quite so lenient. If only I was rich and famous and I could count on getting a ‘get out of jail free’ card every time I got into trouble, imagine the fun I could have.

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