That Chaps my Ass #1
I have heard that holding things in is bad for you. It can lead to stress, high blood pressure and homicidal tendencies. So as an exercise in relieving stress and reducing my homicidal tendencies I have decided to start posting the first of unfortunately many (I am a man under a lot of stress) posts about things that chap my ass. The Urban Dictionary defines the term ‘chaps my ass’ as:
An expression used to indicate strong annoyance at someone or something, a stronger expression than “frosts my balls.”
A friend of mine who used to work at the Naval Aviation Depot with me used this term all the time and I became enamored of it. So for the first installment of ‘That Chaps my Ass’ I am going to vent about something that happened today but has happened many times in the past. Several times recently the girlfriend of the son of my neighbor has driven up to the house and started blasting her horn to let him know that she has arrived. She did this twice as I guess after the first blast he hadn’t come out quickly enough. This type of behavior is saying to the boyfriend: “Hey, I am here but you are not important enough for me to get my lazy ass out of the car and actually knock on the door like a civilized person would.” To everyone else in the neighborhood she is saying: ” I could care less if I am annoying or disturbing you as you mean absolutely nothing to me.”
In another instance of this type of behavior a taxi driver used to stop outside the apartment where I used to live and start honking his horn at 6 am in the morning to let whomever had called him know that their ride was here. Here the taxi driver was letting everyone in the apartment complex know that he could care less if he was waking everybody up since he had to be up himself. When I called the cab company and complained I was told that for safety reasons he could not get out of the cab. So why couldn’t he wait without honking his horn for at least a little while in the off chance that his fare might be looking out the window for him? Because that might cost him a few minutes of his precious time and besides, those few minutes are worth much more than a good nights sleep for the residents of the apartment complex.
So there, I got that off my chest. I hope my blood pressure and stress level have dropped a little. But I still have a lot of stress so it won’t be long before ‘That Chaps my Ass #2′ is published. Stay tuned.
