Have you ever been this tired?

Sep 13, 2010 by

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The Worst Car Review In History

Oct 21, 2009 by

honda-insight-hybrid-concept-img_1Honda makes a lot of good cars but, according to Jeremy Clarkson of The Times of London, the Honda Insight hybrid is not one of them.

“It’s terrible. Biblically terrible. Possibly the worst new car money can buy. It’s the first car I’ve ever considered crashing into a tree, on purpose, so I didn’t have to drive it anymore…[it] makes a noise worse than someone else’s crying baby on an airliner. It’s worse than the sound of your parachute failing to open. Really, to get an idea of how awful it is, you’d have to sit a dog on a ham slicer.”

“So you’re sitting there with the engine screaming its head off, and your ears bleeding, and you’re doing only 23 mph because that’s about the top speed… [it] feels as if it’s been made from steel so thin, you could read through it. And the seats … are designed specifically, it seems, to ruin your skeleton… the idiotic dashboard, which shows leaves growing on a tree when you ease off the throttle … built our of rice paper … poor ride, the woeful performance, the awful noise and the spine-bending seats.”

“Acceleration 0-62 mph: 12.5 seconds. One star (out of five) … Good only for parting the smug from their money.”

– From ‘Arguing with Idiots’, by Glenn Beck

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Proctologists decide to leave health care decision to assholes in Washington.

Aug 4, 2009 by

The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new Obama health care proposals.

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.  The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.  Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.  Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while the Pediatricians said, “Oh, Grow up!”

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.  Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.  The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter….”

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.  The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

{from an email my brother sent me.}

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Top 12 indicators that the economy is bad

Jul 11, 2009 by

bad-economy12. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

11. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

10. I went to buy a toaster-oven and they gave me a bank.

9. Hot Wheels and Matchbox car companies are now trading higher than GM in the stock market.

8.  Obama met with small businesses – GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup and GM to discuss the stimulus package.

7. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

6.  People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and are learning their children’s names.

5.  The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.

4.  People in Africa are donating money to Americans.

3.  Motel Six won’t leave the lights on.

2. The Mafia is laying off judges.

And my favorite indicator of all…

1. If the bank returns your check marked as “insufficient funds,” you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.

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Obama as a “post turtle.”

Jun 19, 2009 by

I found this on the Patriot Freedom web site and just had to reprint it here.

A doctor struck up a conversation with a hard-working 75 year old rancher while suturing a mean cut on the old man’s leathery hand. Eventually the topic got around to Obama. The old rancher said, “Well, you know, Obama is a ‘post turtle.'” Unfamiliar with the term, the doctor asked him what he meant. The old rancher replied, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle.'”The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued: “You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, and he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, and you just wonder what kind of complete moron put him up there to begin with.”

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