I have always been fascinated by time. Time is one of the few things that have been equally allocated to all people. Everyone has 24 hours in a day to use as they can or desire. Money or power won’t add one minute to the day. The important thing about time is that you not waste it. No one knows the time that is allotted to them. Of course, the perceived value of time differs depending on where you are in your timeline. The young have a different awareness of time and its finite number than do the elderly.
When I was young, time was not on my mind. The future seemed endless. Death seemed something that was not applicable to me. I felt no pressing need to spend my time wisely. Now, at age 67 time has a new urgency to it. I am all to aware that my allotted portion on this earth is running out. The value of my time has become very important to me. Everything I contemplate has to take time into account now. The inevitability of death has become very clear.
I do not fear death, but I do fear wasting what time I have left to me. I have given up many things that were once deemed of value in my life as I now weigh whether what time I have left would be better spend on something else. Is this a good thing to do? I’m not sure. I just know that I value some things now that as a younger me I would not have valued so much. People always say things like if I had know I would have lived this long I would have done things differently. Is that really true? Is that a consequence of not valuing time as much when we were young? So many questions.
It has been said that old people are really young people trapped in an old body. There is some truth to that I think. I know that mentally I never really thought of myself as old until I reached about 60. Now, when I look in the mirror, the person that is looking back is not the person I think I am. It is a stranger, an unwelcome one. The wrinkled skin, thinned hair, pudgy face belong to my Grandparents, not me. I look at photos of me in my youth and I think, where did he go? Why isn’t that what I see in the mirror in the morning?
But getting old is part of life and the most you can do is fight it is by doing all the things you can to stay young physically and mentally. But eventually, time wins out. You suddenly realize that you are the old man you never thought you would be. But it’s really not that bad a thing now is it? I mean, the alternative is even less desirable. Well, that is enough mental wandering for one day. I hope you all have a Blessed day. And don’t forget to spend your time wisely. It is your most valuable commodity.